We all and always compare ourselves…against our friends, classmates, colleagues, the girl or guy beside us in the fitness club or just the people sitting next to us in the bar or restaurant.
Ben – a well-known blogger and speaker from Germany – wrote an interesting post about this topic.
So if you understand German go here and read the article…
For all the others AND the ones who ignore my “Call to actions” – as always 😉 – go ahead. I summarized his opinion and thoughts below.
Sometimes comparing to others helps us to feel good.
Sometimes we feel superior, sometimes challenged or powerless.
I guess you know what I am talking about.
THE COMPARISON TRAP
To compare is inherent in our society.
In school we compare our grades, that’s when it all starts.
Or did it start already in kinder-garden when we compared the sizes of our … sand castles.
I am sure we all have our favourite comparison when we think of our own childhood.
And we still do today. One of my favourite examples is business. I constantly compare myself with my student colleagues who are featured in the press as successful entrepreneurs, already leading a team of 30+ people and so on and so on.
And constantly I am comparing myself against other founders (not that I am one) who built an 8-figure business within 2 years. And money isn’t that important to me.
COMPARE TO THE “OUTSIDE” OR “INSIDE”?
The danger is that you lose your own identity -YOURSELF- when you start comparing to the outside.
Outside your view is going away from you. Then you don’t focus on what YOU want.
We check what is looking good with a specific person and want exactly that. We think we stack up worse against them.
Probably it cost the person a lot of time and hard work to reach that level. Probably she had luck.
Justin Bieber posted youtube videos for years before he was “discovered”.
The founder of paypal Peter Thiel, was around in the finance & startup scene for years and built a strong network. As a Stanford graduate and a former trader he also had a crazy amount of knowledge in exactly these areas.
BUT: We don’t see that!
When we compare ourselves we don’t see the hundreds of hours of work, the ups and downs, the moments when the person wanted to give up and doubted herself.
And we only see that the person is outstanding in ONE specific area of life.
Is she feeling in good shape? Does she have real trustworthy friends? Was she ever truly in love? What are her fears and dreams?
YOUR ARTWORK WITH YOUR PAINTING
It is so much easier to look away from us and not on ourselves.
Others give me orientation…ok, they encourage me in their personal master field…very helpful. But I always try to give it a personal touch.
No copying! I take out my own bucket of painting and start working on my own artwork.
Happily inspired by the colours my friends, family, colleagues and others are using :).
Enjoy and stop comparing,
Mario, Munich, Germany.